Smack A Bitch

I Copy and paste this in your profile if you wont hesitate to smack a bitch

(the language is getting worse around here. smack!)

You Might Have Been Gay

HEY how was your christmas? get anything tight/fun? lol.. sooooooooo member when we were best friends BEFORE youg ot mad at me for maybe thinking you might have been gay which is OKAY to be.. but for some reason you got extremely mad when i just THOUGHT that. cause of something i heard. yeh.. we should go back to being best friends haha anyway hope your christmas was bomb i <3 you

(nothing says merry christmas like 'i thought you were gay')

Bandwith Problems

Dear Bobbie,

Hi, how are you doing? I got an e-mail from Alexis. I thought I copy and paste it here.

>Rey it seems that there has been an incredible amount of bandwith used on the lc3anime website
>in the past day or so and it has exceeded the allocated bandwith limit.
>Your current allowed transfer: 7000.00 Your current used transfer: 7256.31
>I will need to discontinue the site very soon so that it does not continue to use up exceeded
>bandwith and to avoid fees. If it continues to i will then need to charge a fee for the exceeded
>amount.
>Let me know ASAP if they have copied all the data from the site so that I can discontinue the
>account. Thanks buddy.

- Alex Have you gotten all the necessary items out of the website? Do you want me to tell Alex to pull the plug, or should we have him hold on a bit longer? I am so sorry for any inconvienience. Take care and I hope you are having a Happy Holiday.

Write me soon,
Rey

(just look at the photo on the site to answer any questions)

Kevin White

To Whom It May Concern,

Manchester Homes, Inc. is a custom homebuilder working primarily in Cherry Hills Village and Greenwood Village, CO. The homes are individually designed and are not duplicated. It has been my pleasure to have had Kevin White work for me over the past two years. Kevin has always been punctual and performed his tasks very well. We have asked Kevin to do clean up tasks, oversee other workers, to receive materials from vendors and account for the products. Kevin has done an exceptional job. Kevin has also worked very well with all of his fellow workers. Kevin has exhibited a real interest in the design and building of each house. We have spent time with him discussing many of the design issues of a home. He often comes by the homes in his spare time to see how they turned out. Please contact me directly at 303.520.8578 if you have any question concerning Kevin.

Sincerely,
Richard Tanner
Manchecter Homes Inc.

(richard, does kevin like yogurt?)

Freshmen & Pot

kimmaley: party at the moon tower!
Kevster 5 1 9: is it cool if i bring a freshman with me?
kimmaley: is he cool?
Kevster 5 1 9: cool like.... like what do you mean
kimmaley: does he smoke pot
Kevster 5 1 9: oh yeah...i mean... he's never tried it or whatever but.. yeah kimmaley: do u have a joint?
Kevster 5 1 9: umm no sorry man
kimmaley: youd be a lot cooler if u diddddd

(who doesn't like D&C references on a friday)

Interesting Email Addresses Part VI

Some interesting emails addressess that have come from the clipboard...

• x666_devils_baby_x666@hotmail.com
• suze@babeinblack.fsnet.co.uk
  
• Bemesderfermbork@comcast.net
• xx_lisa_hmfc_xx@hotmail.com
• chickeedoll@hotmail.com
• Its_not_1974@hotmail.com
• gothictweeker4ever@hotmail.com
• covercowgirl_17@yahoo.com

(why couldn't i have been that creative?)

Things in Common

Hey there! I really like your profile and think we have a few things in common. Check out my profile and if you think we would click send me an email here or at r19f78 at yahoo, I can send a face pic if you would like.

(she clicked, but that was to close your profile. can you send a bank statement instead of a face pic?)

More Worthless IM

I nAiLeD eLmO: i was thinkin hella new energy drink
I nAiLeD eLmO: for toddlers
I nAiLeD eLmO: thats what they live on
I nAiLeD eLmO: and they dont care waht stuff taste like

(i got a feeling this guy is going to be the president one day)

Bleeding Romance

Life, is floating fast away.But I look, your head is turned away. From the moment you left I knew that something wasn't right. But the feeling inside has kept me up all night. You and me are like one heart-beat. You and me are like one heart-beat.So slice open my veins.And let, the romance bleed away.

(um how romamtic, i think, errr)

Pathetic

Elaine, I am sorry. I am pathetic at managing my e mail. I have gone through my cue and cannot find our correspondence. I think this whole internet communication thing is boggling my brain. Can you fill me in on our correspondence and when it was? Its kind of tough since you have no profile or info posted. You know what they say, the brain is the first to go......... Jeff

(maybe you should use a telegraph?)

Dogg Patrol Mode

GameCube – From the city map screen press R trigger, Dpad Up, Dpad Right, Dpad Left, Dpad Down, push Z, then push Z again, then press A then Y, then X, then Y. When you hear the chime, you have successfully imputed the cheat. Now make sure you go to a location and save the game before you exit to the main menu or the cheat will not work (for instance complete a mission to save the game). Then on the episode selection map press up to go to the Snoop Dogg head and that will put you into Dogg Patrol mode.

(anybody want some hot black coffee to go with that?)

Tidings

----- Original Message -----
From: John Loerch
To: magnoliahouse
Sent: Friday, December 23, 2005 9:49 AM
Subject: Tidings

Sheila,

You and Darrell have a Merry Christmas also. I forgot to ask how many children you have. Kids make this time of year exhilerating. All grandkids at this household are graduated, married and employed. I see or hear from Rick's daughter once in a while. They grow up so quickly. Of course I never see or hear from Danny's kids.

Joan

(danny's kids are pissed-off at you joan)

Jewish Joke

Q: Why are Jewish men circumcised?
A: Because Jewish women won't touch anything unless it is 20% off.

(m....o....n....d....a....y)

Grandma & Fire

tell her i hope her grandma dies in a hot fire right now

(ain't that special)

Customer Log

12/26/05 17:30p by Staff kbuchanan : Sale Inserted
12/26/05 17:31p by Staff kbuchanan : also he wont be home until after 3pm so give him a call first on his cell phone. 801-879-4094
12/26/05 17:31p by Staff kbuchanan : Scheduled Appointment for 12/27/2005 1:00 PM - 6:00 PM

(anyone call him yet?)

We Don't Have Beer

Mpack912 (7:56:55 PM): yeah that's the thing
Mpack912 (7:57:01 PM): it depends on rides ect
Mpack912 (7:57:09 PM): and we dont have beer
JenFish926 (7:57:12 PM): yes
JenFish926 (7:57:16 PM): good
startLadiezLax21 (7:57:18 PM): this night looks promising already
Mpack912 (7:57:20 PM): hahaah
Lennie0289 (7:57:22 PM): haha
Mpack912 (7:57:28 PM): well we have each other

(i would rather have beer)

Most Annoying IM Names

[[ « ¤ » Tâÿlôr « ¤ » ]] (K); If pain is beauty.. i must be fucking Gorgous. <3 . im around lv a msg Tyler(w) baby 12/18/2005 2:22:14 PM [[ « ¤ » Tâÿlôr « ¤ » ]] (K); If pain is beauty.. i must be fucking Gorgous. <3 . im around lv a msg Tyler(w) ? 12/18/2005 3:06:42 PM [[ « ¤ » Tâÿlôr « ¤ » ]] (K); If pain is beauty.. i must be fucking Gorgous. <3 . im around lv a msg Tyler(w) omg where the fcuk are you 12/18/2005 4:58:50 PM [[ « ¤ » Tâÿlôr « ¤ » ]] (K); If pain is beauty.. i must be fucking Gorgous. <3 . im around lv a msg Tyler(w) are you still gunna ignore me?

(with an IM name like that, hell yes i would ignore you)

Push Her Off

ok ill get infront of her and distract her....then youll push her off the christaina niagra falls....but lets hope that superman doesnt rescue her like he did w/ lowis lane in superman II

(i don't think that you will have to worry about superman, he is not real. he is only on your underoo's)

Shower Time

JTAMM: ill brb gonna shower
Greeneydsuicide9: aww
Greeneydsuicide9: lemme come with

(easy there tonto)

Intellectual Abilities

Your intellectual abilities, your sense of imagination and your creativity are important to us. With this in mind, please respond to one of the following three requests.You have just completed your 300-page autobiography. Please submit page 217.First experiences can be defining. Cite a first experience that you have had and explain its impact on you.Recall an occasion when you took a risk that you now know was the right thing to do.

(if i write a 300-page autobiography, you're gonna get every damn page)

Life Without You

Life without you would never be he same. It would be lacking something...something wonderful...something that gives me a joy inside, which i never want to let go of. and when i must.. i will hold on till the very last moment.

(i said the same thing to me beer this past weekend)

Sexy Red School Girl Costume

http://cgi.ebay.com/3X-SEXY-RED-SCHOOL-GIRL-Costume-PLUS-SIZE-Lingerie_W0QQ
itemZ5455390370QQcategoryZ1064QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

(now that is what ebay should be used for)

Physical Hurt

The smiles on our faces hide our pain. The laughs that we laugh hide our tears. We all know our pain, but why don't we let others in. Share our hardships with those who care. Our tears should be seen, our pain conquered. Tears our how we feel, they get out anger and sadness. Pain is a physical hurt, something that wont go away without dedicated work. From our heads to our toes we have both sadness and pain. But with each other we overcame. The love we had helped my understand what exactly it is about you that i love. maybe some day it can help you do that same thing.

(touching, now here is a good to reason to drink on a friday)

Text RPG

[Exits: north east] A large iron girth lies at your feet. A set of mithril sleeves lies on the ground. A pair of mithril boots stands has been left here. A pair of mithril gauntlets rests on the ground.( 2) A thick ring made of marble A string of teeth is on the ground.( 2) (Humming) A bracelet studded with titanium is here. A helm and visor of blue steel rests here. A very big sack is here. Someone has left a deep red stone here. (Glowing) A rusted chain medallion is here.( 2) A pill is here sparkling. (Humming) A green and silver shield bears a bleeding heart device. A dead animal hide is here. A short rod is here gleaming.( 2) A potion made of gyvel leaves lies here. A potion of recall rests here. A very large glaive rests here.( 2) (Glowing) A glowing icicle dagger lies here amid a patch of frost. A glowing silvery sword is hovering here, ready to possess an owner.

(a geek is near here.)

Longing For Your Touch

I am longing for your touch and your warmth and your smell to mingle with mine. In all this desepration I still have missed you terribly my dear. There is a burning desaire to seek the warmth of your clsoeness and lay down with you in your bed. I want you to talk to me gently, stroke me and play with me in bed. I do not want quick and real action. I just want a gently playing, caressing and kissing of all athe four lips. Are you game for that? Maybe that is not what your expect out of me.I thnik I am getting quie like her in love making. I may be a little outdated, slow and maybe wanting a little more passivity in bed. Right now I really have a strong urge to suck your cock and play with hi,. I am not sure what is driving me right now ..So please ignore this. I am rambling. But I do need you in my arms my lvoe Thinking of you all the time...........

(what's wrong with quick and real action?)

Snappy

i dont know what to say, i'm not snapping at you, i just, i dont know

(yes you are)

Case Review Committee

IT3,Contact Mr. Stephen Garcia (today) at (360) 315-3068. Your case is going before the Case Review Committee on 10 January 2006. HMC WhiteJ-7755

(i hate going in front of the case review committee, better call steve)

Cheeto Waitin to Pop

just say man grandma i have a fuckin cheeto waitin to pop out of my ass

(no, i don't think that is the right thing to say to grandma)

Grinch?

I'm tired of all this xmas crap ... you people are celebrating a Jew's birthday on the wrong day move the hell on. Next person that compares xmas with Chanukah (besides that they are both Americanized) gets shot. Happy Chinese food and movie day to all the people that matter you are the ones that get it

(monday mindblock)

Runescape Order

OrderID: 1333056
Accountname: dark_man90
Service: Runescape

(uh oh, the darkman is back)

Utmost Desire

December 30, 2005

Recruiting, HRDeTelecare Global Solutions
6F Engineering Sciences Bldg.
Asia Town IT Park, LahugCebu City

Dear Sir/Madam:
It is my utmost desire to be a part of your company. I would therefore greatly appreciate if you would consider me for any vacant position. I finished the degree of Bachelor of Science in Business Administration Major in Management at Siena College of Taytay, recently this October 2005.It has been my honor to be an On-The-Job Trainee of Leah Construction

(you need some better desires than that, come on!)

Türk

Olimpiyat meşale koşusuna akşam saatlerinde katılan Türk ekibi, Palermo caddelerinde koşarken büyük ilgiyle karşılandı. Türk ekibi yeni yıl nedeniyle renkli bir görünüme bürünen Palermo sokaklarına olimpiyat meşaleleriyle farklı bir hava kattı. Torino Olimpiyat Komitesi, Türk ekibinin taşıdığı meşaleleri koşu sonrasında kendilerine armağan etti.

(are they talking about Türk from scrubs?)

Arrangements to Get Drunk and Stoned

Ashley Eppler (Colorado State) wroteat 12:09am
I was just wondering if you could please make arrangements to get drunk and stoned with my brother again before I leave to go back school??? (You and Joe are now my new favorite drunk people) I loved hearing from you two about how women suck, you guys making up words/sentences in the car (salmonella, Beta Alpha("bong authority-who is yours?") sophopilical), watching you two check out girls at Jerusalems, you both telling me how all sorority women are sluts, and about that time you boys ended up in a brothel in Madrid. Thanks for a very entertaining first evening back home, and please call me when you both are wasted anytime you need a sober ride.-Ash

(hope ma and pa eppler don't see this one)

Gangsta Christmas Greetings

ey sista soljah. merry christmas and stuff. me and o d b bouts to chillin freestyle with the samiritans. so have a good christmas. hood mastas 91'.

(say hi to grand master b for me)

Pentium 200

Hi,

We purchased a PC Camera (vickis2121) and when loading it onto the computer it comes up with "some components cannot be installed".When you say Pentium 200 or higher CPU, do you mean Pentium 2. We have a pentium 4.

ThanksVicki

(no they mean Pentium 200 and you need to wait a couple of decades to use your camera)

Things you can only say at Christmas

Things you can only say at Christmas
1. Talk about a huge breast!
2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
3. It's Cool Whip time!
4. If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!
5. Whew, that's one terrific spread!
6. I'm in the mood for dark meat.
7. Are you ready for seconds yet?
8. It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
10. Don't play with your meat.
11. Just spread the legs open and stuff it in.
12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?
13. I didn't expect everyone to come at once!
14. You still have a little bit on your chin.
15. How long will it take after you stick it in?
16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up.
17. Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!
18. That's the biggest one I've ever seen!
19. How long do I beat it before it's ready?

(can you tell i have backlog of secrets?)

We’re Going Down Sugar

Drop a heart, break a nameWe're always sleeping in, and sleeping for the wrong teamWe're going down, down in an earlier roundAnd Sugar, we're going down swingingI'll be your number one with a bulletA loaded god complex, cock it and pull it[x2]Down, down in an earlier roundAnd Sugar, we're going down swingingI'll be your number one with a bulletA loaded god complex, cock it and pull itWe're going down, down in an earlier roundAnd Sugar, we're going down swingingI'll be your number one with a bulletA loaded god complex, cock it and pull itWe're going down, down (down, down)Down, down (down, down)We're going down, down (down, down)A loaded god complex, cock it and pull itWe're going down, down in an earlier roundAnd Sugar, we're going down swingingI'll be your number one with a bulletA loaded god complex, cock it and pull it

(was wondering about those fob lyrics)

Happy 18'th Big Guy

You may have noticed and been distraught by the fact that I have not given you a birthday preasent yet. Not to worry, I'll pay your admission to diamonds some time next week. Happy 18'th big guy.

(hmmm, what could diamonds be?)

The Easter Bunny Isn't Real

ok whoops sorry for not knowing wut Latter Day Saints meant... wut does that mean ne way?santa is what??? lol wut were u gunna say jake... hes not real! get over it boy u gotta lot to learn... btw the easter bunny isnt real either n there arent ne movies to prove that he is so haha:-Dwoah 2-6!!! thats sooooooo good!!! lol we are... 5-1 :-D the wins come first... how many points u have? gosh for yall to win by 50 the other team musta... been good? :-D

(golly gee whiz wally)

Tongue Rubber

i wanted to know if I could rub my tongue along your vagina...

(i am guessing that the answer was no)