IM Mating Ritual

CrzYchERleaDr36: last time i checked.
CrzYchERleaDr36: i didnt have balls
MissionHockey27: well the last time i checked....
MissionHockey27: I SUCK BALLS
CrzYchERleaDr36: when have you seen me naked. hm never
CrzYchERleaDr36: i know you suck balls.
MissionHockey27: i never said i saw u naked u spic
CrzYchERleaDr36: lol
CrzYchERleaDr36: im no spic
MissionHockey27: yes u are
CrzYchERleaDr36: true. i am
CrzYchERleaDr36: but not a dirty one
CrzYchERleaDr36: im a good clean one
MissionHockey27: with a dirty vagina

(now that's some smooth talking to the ladies)

Moorcroft Debt Recovery & Hill Strores Furniture

F.a.o. Alice,Moorcroft Debt Recovery Ltd

Dear Alice,

Further to my phone call Friday afternoon 16th December I can confirm that the cheque has gone off first class post. Please ask Trinity Services to receipt this cheque and to send a copy invoice for the last amount as it is no longer in our files.Please ask them to contact me at Hill Strores Furniture Ltd,158,Huddersfield Road,Oldham OL4 2RD Tel 0161 626 0674 Fax 0161 627 3916 your ref. 007378579021(D PC27)also could you please contact on the above number as I have couple of clients of our own for which your indoubted services we could benefit from.

Yours sincerely,
R. Conn

pp. Hill Stores Furniture Ltd.

(yeah, i have no idea what they are talking about)

Chanukah Party with Dreidle Spin-off

Tue, Dec 27: Cong. Beth Sholom Chanukah Party: Cong. Beth Sholom'sChanukah party will be held on Tuesday, December 27 at 6:30 p.m. Comefor dinner, entertainment and prizes for the kids. We will be serving latkes, sour cream, and applesauce, egg salad, tuna salad and green salad, donuts and an ice cream buffet. Back by popular demand, JimPelc will mystify you with his magical tricks. Don't miss the dreidle spin-off and the Kreiger Family's treasure chest of prizes. Please send in your reservation to the shule by Dec. 23 (1161 Monroe Ave,Roch NY 14618. $7 adults/$4 kids. For more information, call 473-1625. (posted 12/16)

(a party just isn't a party without the ole dreidle spin-off)

Conference Call

Construction Roundtabele Action Plan - Next Steps

Call-in: 1-877-421-0017
Passcode: 529297

(let's see how many people we can get on the line)

Another Student Teacher Exchange

Dear Mr. Brown,

I hope your enjoying your weekend and I'm sure your excited for the upcoming holiday. I write today for two reasons. First, I want to make sure that the book that I have chosen for my paper is acceptable. I chose Fahrenheit 451. If this is allowed I would like for you to look over the second part of this e-mail which is my preliminary thesis. If you would rather talk to me about it in person I can do that tomorrow but I would like to at least get my final thesis in on time. My thesis is: In the book Fahrenheit 451 the author, Ray Bradbury, portrays the themes of censorship and knowledge versus ignorance by the burning of the books and the strong display of closemindedness towards minorities and women. Please e-mail me back at your earliest convience and I hope you enjoy the rest of your day. I also apoligize for the procrastination but i guess it's better late than never.

Thanks for your time,
Kyle Gibbons

P.S. Please e-mail me back at baseballrules43@yahoo.com

(like there is any modern day censorship kyle *cough* cia, google, etc)

Party at My House

It's about time for a party at my house
And it wouldn't be the same without you
No not at all as I recall
You've got what I need

(i will be there, i know, me either, biz markie?)

I Think Rap Sucks

...(30 kids...thats not all that suprising) but they all listen to rap I dont know about you but i think rap sucks so any ways email me back

(i gonna put a cap in yo a$$)

Movie Quote

Vinny Gambini: What about these pants I got on? You think they're okay?
Mona Lisa Vito: Imagine you're a deer. You're prancing around. You get thirsty. You spot a little brook. You put your little deer lips down to the cool, clear water - BAM. A fuckin' bullet rips off part of your head. Your brains are lying on the ground in little bloody pieces. Now I aks you, do you give a fuck what kind of pants the son-of-a-bitch who shot you was wearing?

(funny movie)

I'm Going As Far Away As I Can Go

i'm going as far as i can go, away from here,away from you, jake, and the hole you've sunk me into.i wish that i could belong here, with you, and just be,but that's not all that i'm about.your life is built on accidents, like meeting me.you write everything down in your grocery list - people do this.even insects buzz like airplanes, why can't we fly away?i'm going as far as i can go.your dad died, cause his heart hurt, arking away his forty-five years,dragging your mom along.i don't want that, neither do you. neither do you.if i am not fun, and i am not interesting,perhaps i am not interested in you, neither are you.you can't stand in front of an oven, cause it's warm,and the fumes are dangerous.i'm going as far as i can go.away from here, away from you, jake, and the hole you've sunk me into.i wish that i could belong here, with you, and just be,but that's not all that i'm about to do.

(touching, not really. i am actually laughing, not really. now i am crying)

Trying to Earn a Little Money

I don't know how this old picture of me ever got out. I was trying to earn a little extra money for college. :-)- Bill

(is it the one with the diaper, gerbil, and empty bottle of tequila?)

This is not a JOKE

ATTENTION ALL MYSPACE USERS! Tom is allowing people to have more than 8 top 8! If you repost this, Tom will send you a message telling you how to get more than 8! This is so exciting! Repost this with the title "we love tom" and he will message you with the secret! THIS IS NOT A JOKE! Everyone repost so that we can all have more than 8 top 8!!!

(we hate tom)

Hotmail Hotmail Hotmail

tanman_3@hotmail.com, chelsi_mueller921@hotmail.com, a_gymnast133@hotmail.com, whitney_b69@hotmail.com, sarae_05@hotmail.com, kn_bromley@hotmail.com, brookeb_09@hotmail.com, colson_13@hotmail.com, alexie_e23@hotmail.com, nickolite_33@hotmail.com, sommy_01@hotmail.com, termy_jess@hotmail.com, colbycheese_jack@hotmail.com, daniellemurphy_5@hotmail.com, derekvitek@hotmail.com, d_stefani56@hotmail.com, derek_j7@hotmail.com, e_boy46@hotmail.com, kanaly_13@hotmail.com, muller_989@hotmail.com, phatguy_33@hotmail.com, schmidty_4833@hotmail.com, silverman5709@hotmail.com, tanman_3@hotmail.com, tkool_7@msn.com, wies_carissa@hotmail.com, muley_jena@hotmail.com, a_gymnast133@hotmail.com, coltoniverson50@hotmail.com, darkstar_2008@hotmail.com, derek_j7@hotmail.com, phat_chick3@hotmail.com, kickass_001@hotmail.com, sarae_05@hotmail.com, sommy_01@hotmail.com, bball_stace@hotmail.com, emhab@hotmail.com, hellboy_210_69@hotmail.com, j_ish_06@hotmail.com

(i sure hope that no spam spider crawl this post)

DirecTV Rant Email

I have been a loyal customer for many years now. I ordered the NFL Sunday Ticket back in September and was supposed to be billed in 4 payments. You proceeded to bill me all at once. You were contacted several times about this and you said that you would correct the situation. You never did, after repeated phone calls. I am now officially done with Directv...I will finish my current commitment and after that I will cancel my account. This company is run by morons. I want you to know that I will spend the rest of my breathing years bad mouthing Directv. I will recommend you to no one. I will tell them of your horrendous customer service. I will make sure that everyone I come in contact with won't even think about getting Directv. For me to even waste time to write this email shows how moronic this is! Check your records...I have been a good customer...well know more. Comcast is Comcastic!!!! Can't wait to unplug you!

yours totally disappointed,
Michael Lafferty

(speaking of morons and moronic)

(p.s. comcast blows)

Bank Transactions

INCOMEUncategorized4/7/2005CheckingDEPReturn To Lowe'sR2.66------------TOTAL Uncategorized2.66Bank Interest1/31/2005CheckingInterest EarnedR1.933/31/2005CheckingInterest EarnedR2.134/29/2005CheckingInterest EarnedR1.835/31/2005CheckingInterest EarnedR1.856/30/2005CheckingInterest EarnedR2.057/29/2005CheckingInterest EarnedR2.038/31/2005CheckingInterest EarnedR2.109/30/2005CheckingInterest EarnedR2.1910/31/2005CheckingInterest EarnedR2.20------------TOTAL Bank Interest18.31Fundraising9/30/2005CheckingATMDeposit From Paul Hickssoftball tournamentR275.00------------TOTAL Fundraising275.00Member Dues1/27/2005CheckingDEPCity of Fairbornunion duesR2,977.322/24/2005CheckingDEPCity Of Fairbornunion duesR2,977.323/24/2005CheckingDEPDues DepositUnion Dues via ATMR2,977.325/2/2005CheckingDEPDues DepositUnion Dues via ATMR3,046.566/2/2005CheckingDEPATM DepositMember Dues June 2, '05R3,046.566/22/2005CheckingDEPATM DepositMember Dues June 15, '05R3,046.568/1/2005CheckingDEPATM DepositMember dues july 27, '05R4,500.608/25/2005CheckingDEPCity of FairbornduesR2,977.329/23/2005CheckingDEPATM Deposit Of Duesunion duesR2,908.0810/23/2005CheckingDEPATM Deposit Of Duesunion duesR2,908.0811/17/2005CheckingDEPCity of Fairborn ATM Depositunion dues2,977.32------------TOTAL Member Dues34,343.04Miscellaneous8/15/2005CheckingDEPCheck From James Littlefirefighter contribution for softball cookoutR120.00------------TOTAL Miscellaneous120.00------------TOTAL INCOME34,759.01EXPENSESUncategorized3/4/2005CheckingDebitPIN Fee ? On Statementpurchase w/ PIN (?)R-0.254/4/2005CheckingDebitPIN Fee ? On StatementLowe'sR-0.255/2/2005CheckingBalance AdjustmentR-14.13------------TOTAL Uncategorized-14.63Affiliate Lodge Dues11/22/2005Checking5269Fairborn Affiliate Lodge

(too lazy to format this one)

Some Bad News

hey......i'm afraid i have some bad news......i've been trying for ever to brun the cd as well ...... but the files are even to big to fit.....it would 6 cd for 9 lectures (each cd can hold 80 min but each lecture is 45 mintues)............. I’m really sorry…. I didn’t think this would happen ……if you still need them I can still send them my msn….iwe would just have to leave our msn on over night or something ….it up to you….email me back if you want to ……… SORRY! Hope your not mad

(as long as you can send them my msn, then i am not mad)

(spellcheck?)

Quiz

first question...
what did you do at the University of houston?
next..
where is Quest automation (my company) based?....
who is the client for whom you work?...
why does (the client) need your tech support? thats it!

(1.drank
2.google it
3.myself
4.i'm drunk)

Student Complaining to Prof About Grade

Professor Greco,

My name is Erin Holbrook and I just recently finished your Tuesday-Thursday 8:10 sociology class. I was looking at my grade today, Saturday December 17th, and I saw that the grade was a "C-". You had written on our grade sheets that you passed out that I would get a "C" even if I received an "F" on the final. I took the final and did all the essays and the evaluation sheets, so I can't understand why I received a C- in the class. If you can e-mail me back emh29@uakron.edu and explain how I received the grade, I would appreciate that very much!!! Thank you!

Erin Holbrook

(i think we should all email erin and let her know that we support her)

Teen Speak?

lPtt lP駧-.WoRth-MiLLion$.- says:well i bette go and get eady fo my date

lol says:oh date?

lol says:tell

lPtt lP駧-.WoRth-MiLLion$.- says:he is goin to obina high next y he is a f iend of my family he is 12 and he lives ac oss the oad f om b ittney i go and c him when i go to b ittney's

lPtt lP駧-.WoRth-MiLLion$.- says:oh and he asked pe mis n f om my dad to take me to the movies and he said if i c anything i like he eill buy it fo me

lPtt lP駧-.WoRth-MiLLion$.- says:he may not me hot o anything but i eally like him

lol says:awh how sweet

lPtt lP駧-.WoRth-MiLLion$.- says:i no

lol says:

lPtt lP駧-.WoRth-MiLLion$.- says:well i bette go o.O Kt O.o bst
frnd sn't th 1 tht bLs 0t 0f jL, t's th 1 stttn9 wth 0 sn9 "W scrwd p"

(my head hurts)

Identity Theft IM?

Athens4GYROS: COBB TOLD ME THAT.
Athens4GYROS: DON'T TRY ME.
bcillini14: yeah i no this is cobb
Athens4GYROS: THEN WHOS SN IS THIS? Nolesfan205?
bcillini14: steve loomis

(now you boys know better that messing around with others SN's)

RoMeOiSaPuNk09

RoMeOiSaPuNk09: do u really think thato0kay
xOlynn: well ya

(that is such a 1337 name you got romeo)

Prolly Thinks Im Crazy

:-вяıαя-:- ı cαит εscαpε тнε εcнoε ωoяđs says:i like tyler...i just met him but he prolly hates me now, cuz i was mad, hyper and crying at the dance, and i cried on him, i was hyper with him, and i was being angry about something while he was with me..he prolly thinks im Crazy

(you're prolly right on that one crazy)

Wacked Out IM

said says:'where are you guys?'
said says:'no frills'ArSu | there i go...thinkin of u again.. | .........rapeeeeeeeeeeeeeddddddddddddddd.........
says:ahaaahahhah
said says:'iiiiight bring me 2 kitkats and a twix'
said says:painchod
said says:bund he merwaee
said says:sari routine fuck hogaee hai
said says:sari rat soya nahi hu abb 10 bajne walay hain
said says:bathroom saf ho raha hay painchod

(don't know what language or planet)

Pi URL

http://3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592.com/

(don't forget to look at index1.html at the above site)

7 Facts (or at least numbered statements)

1.The specifications of a computer file are important to keep intact.
2.A judicial court is not a good place to be in.
3.A judgment is when judges get together and make their decision.
4.A prejudice is when people make a guess about something.
5.I undoubtedly flunked the spelling test.
6.It would be sufficient to have a party on the last school day of 2005.
7.Women try to beautify guys to impress them.
8.Unanimous means that a vote is voted for highly in one way.

(it is always sufficient to have a party, last school day or not)

UK Author Giving Thanks

Tom,

Thanks for accepting "Leaving on a Wide Angle" for publication in Eclectica. I feel extremely honoured. 1) As requested, here is a short bio: Steven J. Dines lives in the granite city of Aberdeen, Scotland where he has been writing short fiction for many years. His work has appeared in Dark Tales, Buzzwords, The Writers Post Journal, Word Riot, Noo Journal, Underground Voices, Outsider Ink, and many others. His website, Crayons in the Dark, can be found here: www.sdines1975.demon.co.uk Ref 2) - I think I'd prefer the story to speak for itself. However, if it is part of requirements, let me know and I'll send something on. 3) www.sdines1975.demon.co.uk (My Home Page, Crayons in the Dark) Please let me know if you require anything further.

Regards,
Steven J. Dines

(congratulations steven on another publication)

Blue Valley School District is Hiring

The Blue Valley School District employs over 1100 classified employees that support the educational operations of the school district. The hiring of classified employees is on-going during the year and questions reqarding classified employee vacancies and hiring procedures should be directed to:Jean Higginbotham Director of Human Resources 15020 Metcalf Ave.P. O. Box 23901 Overland Park, Kansas 66283-0901 (913)239-4104 Fax: (913)239-4159

(start sending in those resumes)

Some F**ker Mike

we got some fucker Mike who is 45 and works at LHM

(nice to meet you some f**ker mike)

NCO Communicator

Due to the increased capabilities of the communications platoon, it is recommended that the S-6 be allocated space within the COC. The purpose of this space allocation would be to place an NCO communicator within the COC to supervise the radio watch and facilitate the flow of information. The NCO communicator would also increase the restoration time for a degraded or inoperable radio net/data network by directly contacting the communications shop.

(crystal clear to me, how about you?)

Gifts

Do you plan on taking the gifts to Shannon's house or have them pick them up at my house?

(i will come and pick them up)

Natural Law Ethical Theory

According to natural law ethical theory, the moral standards that govern human behavior are, in some sense, objectively derived from the nature of human beings or the cosmos in general. According to natural law legal theory, the authority of at least some legal standards necessarily derives, at least in part, from considerations having to do with the moral merit of those standards

(uh yeah, what they said)

Going on an Adventure

i gotta go though, im going on an adventure to find a dollar store in this city....

(sounds like an exciting adventure)

Pacific Ride

Dear Mr. Battles,

Thank you for considering Pacific Ride for your transportation needs. We can provide the service requested below from La Mesa to the San Diego Airport in a Lincoln Town Car for $44 one way, or we can offer you $79 if you book the round-trip. You can expect your driver will meet you at the door and load your luggage into the car. At the airport your driver will deliver you to the departure area and unload your luggage. Upon your return to San Diego, the driver will meet you in baggage claim. Pacific Ride does not charge a "standard" gratuity, you retain the option based on your level of satisfaction. If you have any questions or would like to book this reservation please call us at 888-760-1845. We look forward to serving you.

Regards,
Ed
BakrimPacific Ride
760-889-2477
888-760-1845

(do these guys provide transportation to and from bars?)

It Smells Really Good

(I just took my bouncy ponytail down, and my hair is around my shoulders, and it smells really good.)

(they stole my brackets, and yes it does smell good)

12 Steps of AA

THE TWELVE STEPS OF ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
1. We admitted we were powerless overalcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greaterthan ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and ourlives over to the care of God as we understoodHim.
4. Made a searching and fearless moralinventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and toanother human being the exact nature of ourwrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God removeall these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed,and became willing to make amends to themall.
9. Made direct amends to such peoplewherever possible, except when to do sowould injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventoryand when we were wrong promptly admittedit.
11. Sought through prayer and meditationto improve our conscious contact with God, aswe understood Him, praying only for knowledgeof His will for us and the power to carrythat out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as theresult of these steps, we tried to carry thismessage to alcoholics, and to practice theseprinciples in all our affairs.

(in case you did not know them)

Is the Mudhouse ok?

I think the 20th around 1 pm looks like a good time for most people. Is the Mudhouse ok? This is tenative time so give me a heads up if it does not work for you. Please pass this on to the non-facebook users you see, as I have no real way to contact them.

(yes, i am OK with the mudhouse)

TODO List

1.Security Settings – I still have not seen the admin settings as of 16 Dec 2005 despite numerous requests for them.

2.VDD validation complete on 19 Dec 2005??? Is Sensor expecting us to sign off on something that was incomplete? I understand that it’s draft, but they didn’t even have a list of the software incorporated into the VDD as of 16 Dec 2005.

3.Slide 26 – M-Demo Plan to CC2SG on 6 Dec 2005? I have received no notification and I checked Capt D’s routing just on Monday.

4.Slide 33 – Will have to check SENSORNet on Monday to check for SSAA.5.Slide 34 – See Note 1

(5. check security settings on your browser)

Sex Inquisition

1. How old were you when you first had sex? A I've never had sex
2 haave you loved everyone you’ve had sex with? • I've never had sex
3 how many people have you had sex with? A None
4. What’s your main method of birth control? B Birth control pill
5. Have you ever had sex in a public place? • No
6. Have you ever had a one-night stand? • No
7. Have you ever watched a pornographic movie? D No (but I might)
8. What is your favorite sexual position (out of the ones listed below)?
9. Have you ever had anal sex? • No
10. Have you ever had phone sex? • No (but I might)
11. If you’ve only had oral sex, are you still a virgin? • Yes
12. How often do you masturbate? G Never
13. Have you ever kissed two people in the same night? • No
14. Have you ever been naked in public? • No
15. Have you ever had a sexual experience with a member of the same sex? • No
16. Are you comfortable receiving oral sex? • Yes
17. Are you comfortable giving oral sex? • Never tried it
18. Are there any naked photos of you in existence? • No

(she doesn't sound like a fun date, ouch, that was harsh)